I've Never Known Peace
It hadn't occurred to me that I was unfamiliar with how peace felt, or knew what it felt like to have peace... until this week.
It was a normal Tuesday and my dad had texted me to ask how I was doing. I replied with a simple answer telling him that I was doing good and nothing wild is really going on that I could think of. He then texted me back and said: "Peace is nice, huh? God has you covered. Trust Him."
It was in that moment that I knew. I realized I was in a season of peace. Of stillness. Of unknown. Of calmness. It is all going to be okay, because I am surrounded by His mighty love.
It doesn't sound like it'd be all that bad to 'know peace', although I wasn't aware that peace was the ever-so-unfamiliar feeling that was surrounding all of my days recently, because I had never experienced full and radiant ease in such a way. I am finally able to recognize this ease. I have fallen into the awareness of my King's longing for my life.
I am beginning to recognize and settle into the ways in which he tells me it will be okay if I just wait and surrender to the silence.
It's been a difficult season up until now because I haven't been sure what to do with this silence. How do I just sit and be still when he sends me countless "no's: and shuts numerous doors right in front of me? There have been many days when I wake up and ask Him what's next, and He continually tells me to be still and rest in HIM. I know He's a last minute God, but never before now has that been more real to me.
All of this reminds me of the sermon from church yesterday. (1 Kings 19:1-18) Greg spoke about Elijah and how he ran for his life after Ahab had told Jezebel all that Elijah had done to the prophets, and so Jezebel wanted to end Elijah's life. Because of that Elijah ran away and kept running and I won't tell the whole detailed story, but Elijah got to a certain point where he sat beneath a bush and prayed that he would die, and claimed that he'd had enough. Soon after he prayed an angel touched him and told him to eat. Sure enough, there beside him was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. This occurrence happened twice and after the second time he was strengthened by the food and kept traveling for 40 days and 40 nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. God confronted Elijah that night and told him to go back to where he had come from and to stand tall in the presence of The lord, for The Lord is about to pass by. So he did.
Fast forward; when he got there his situation wasn't changed, Jezebel still wanted him gone... but he had the Lord's strength. In church they said the phrase:
"We think solutions, God offers strength."
I feel like often I am like Elijah. Running from the things that are crumby or situations I am not fond of, or maybe even things that I am afraid of. There are times when I pray pray pray and God doesn't 'take the hurt away.' But He ALWAYS comes with the very best He has to offer and the best that He knows He can give us when we ask. He always provides his strength. He is always by our side, and forever there when we ask in His name.
With all of that said, some of you might be in a season of unknown like I have been. Some of you might even be overwhelmed with so much peace that it feels frustrating at times being so still. Some of you might be expecting some sort of quick solution to all of this, but at the end of the day... ask for His will, call on His name, ask for Him to provide you with strength; and He will make sure you have every single ounce to make it through.